the circumstances or the man?

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. We've been talking a lot about idols in our church and how they can prevent us from becoming the people God intends us to be. It's been making me think a lot about various situations in my life that have been frustrating me in the last several months; Circumstances that I have found myself in that are completely outside of the realm of my control. I then began to reevaluate what I was asking God for in these different situations. The following are some observations of what I feel I have learned.

The first situation is the ordeal of buying a house. Who would have thought that purchasing a piece of property could be so much trouble and the source of so much frustration? The process was delayed over and over with one frustrating situation after another. Over and over I prayed that God would work this out so that we could get the house and get the situation resolved. I was so frustrated with the way things were going. I just wanted a place to call home. A place for my family to grow. Is that such a bad thing? I prayed over and over for this situation to come to some resolution. It just didn't seem like it was ever going to end.

The second situation was my job. Like many Americans with a degree, I am working a job that requires no education higher than a high school diploma. The work is hard and the days are long. I work with a group of men that are more brawny than brainy, who utilize a vocabulary more colorful than a box of crayolas. I get along with everybody just fine. However, I struggle to see a future for me in this company. I've prayed that God would open a door for me to a job within my field of study. I've prayed for a job closer to home. I've prayed for a job that would pay more. I've prayed for almost any job other than the one I have. This employment situation left me with frustrations above and beyond that of any job I have ever held.

Third... finances... ahh yes, the problem that everything that we need costs money. And the additional problem that your expenses will always rise to meet and sometimes exceed your income. This is not just a theory. This isn't just a business principal. This is in the Bible. Ecclesiastes 5:11 says “When goods increase, they increase who eat them, and what advantage has their owner but to see them with his eyes?” How can I pray against a Biblical principal? I did anyways. I prayed for a better paying job. I prayed for 'the wisdom to practice good stewardship'. I prayed for the ability to provide for the family that the Lord has blessed me with.

I prayed all these things. All of them good. All of them right. Here's the problem.

I prayed them to fit my agenda. I prayed that God would work my plans out for me. I never asked Him to show me the plans he had for me. He knows the plans he has for me. That's in the Bible too. Jeremiah 29:11... His plans are even good. But I didn't want to give my situations over to Him completely because then, I would have to accept his solutions. I wasn't ready to trust him with that much.

I didn't understand why the creator of the universe couldn't reach down into my life for just a second and work with me a little. All He had to do was adjust a couple little problems for me. That should be easy for the guy who created the world out of nothing in six days, right?

All I wanted from him was to change my circumstances.

God wanted to change me.

God wanted to use my issues to mold me into the man He wants me to become. Like the potter with the clay, He has a vision in His mind of the father/husband/employee/man that he wants to have before him when He pulls me out of the kiln.

How many times to we ask God to remove us from the wheel when we're still a lump of clay, useless and without form? How many times do we complain about the heat when He's firing us in the kiln of life to strengthen us in our relationship with Him? What clay vessel has ever come into existence knowing exactly what it was to become? I'll tell you the answer to the last question. None. Because even the lifeless lump of clay knows better than to think that it could form itself into a beautiful, useful vessel without the potters strong, firm hands.

For now, these situations are still unresolved. That's Okay. I am resolved to allow God to work His supreme will through every one of them. The circumstances that I find myself in are simply the means to an end. I hope that my prayer, from here on out, will be that God changes not the circumstances, but the man in the circumstances. Only then will I become the man he intends for me to be. Only then will I become the means by which He furthers His Kingdom.